Slurry Beta

Infrequent ruminations on nothing.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Election 2k6

Well, it's the day after the 2006 midterm elections and if you're a Democrat or were pulling for them in any way, you're probably happy right now. If not, you may be feeling like one of Rick Santorum's kids who has, in one fell swoop, been forced to question the very existence of God. (See right) At least now Santorum, who famously argued that repealing a ban on sodomy would lead to rampant bestiality, will have plenty of time to rehabilitate her with a strict regimen of church and home school. For the record, I don't mean any ill will toward his obviously destroyed daughter. For me, Santorum represents every thing that is wrong with American politics and the picture was just way too classic not to post.

In other news, it looks like Democrat Jon Tester is going to defeat Republican Conrad "Montgomery" Burns for a Senate seat in Montana. A few counties had a bit of a software problem with some voting machines and have been recounting votes all morning but it looks like there won't be enough to dissolve Tester's lead. I've always said there weren't enough flattops on Capitol Hill.

In lesser publicized news, if you're a resident of a certain Montana county, you can feel safe and secure for at least four more years.

In BREAKING NEWS: Donald Rumsfeld has just resigned.

In EVEN MORE BREAKING NEWS: I am crying like a little Santorum right now. Tears of joy.

Friday, November 03, 2006

WTF, Hallmark? Seriously, WTF?

In a fit of rage, I almost gave up on my Hallmark Keepsake Disney Christmas ornament collection. The prospect of me purchasing a “Sing-a-long Pals” ornament this year is in serious jeopardy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s probably the sweetest ornament Hallmark has put out since they re-released the rare 1965 “Tigger Goes to Hollywood” miniature in 1997. But two days ago, just one day after Halloween mind you, Hallmark ran a Christmas commercial on prime time TV. I realize the desire for companies to maximize on the commercial gluttony of Christmas but that’s WAY too early, especially if you’re something as completely stupid as the “Very Merry Trio” for $14.95. Damn, that's really stupid looking. Penguins in earmuffs? Hallmark may have ruined my Christmas already, which is bad news for my family as I am notoriously cranky on Christmas day. I have no idea why, but it’s been going on for so long that it’s tradition at this point. Christmas tree, lights, turkey dinner, Slurry B shames family. Happy birthday, Jesus.

Anyway, it got me thinking that I probably don’t have too many posts left before the end of the year so I need to start getting in some “Year End” lists in before it’s too late. I’m not going to do a Top Ten list because that’s too many for me. DePue runs a “My Top Five” over on his blog so I’m going to go ahead and one up that shit with a few “Year End Top Six” lists. Stay tuned.