Slurry Beta

Infrequent ruminations on nothing.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Sadly, I'm Back

I know it's been awhile and I've probably lost most of my readership but my crew and I have suffered some nearly crippling setbacks lately in terms of blog development. Let me explain. It's pretty well established that I'm really into famous people or "celebs" as I like to call them. The exclusive content I post on Steven Seagal in the regular "Seagal Watch" segment has become so popular on the Interweb that if you type "Slurry+Beta+Steven+Seagal" into Google, it's the number one hit. Not one to argue with or understand statistics, I presented the data at the Slurry Beta Annual Creative Direction Symposium two weeks ago and everyone agreed that the "Celeb Watch" franchise should be aggressively expanded. For the next six days, we bickered over who should be that flagship celeb that would officially signal Slurry Beta's new direction. "Pavarotti Watch" was born. Coffee mugs were made, shirts were screen printed, and an entire series of postings were conceived. Unfortunately, Big Pavi kicked the bucket last week, taking with him his famous High C vocal range, six weeks to five years of exclusive Slurry Beta material and an almost inconceivable amount of ad revenue. And he looked so healthy!

So we had to move to plan B: "Van Impe Watch!". Now, if you know about a little thing called the Apocalypse, you most likely know Jack van Impe, an "award winning" Bible memorizer and polka enthusiast* who's been predicting the end of the world for 25 years next to his ravishing wife, Rexella (my God, she's attractive!). He's also one of my favorite celebrities . He doesn't do much outside of predicting Jesus' return every week, but we're going to watch him anyway. Just in case.

*This album is real. I'm not good enough at photoshop to make this shit up.

2 Comments:

At 8:59 AM, Blogger mindy said...

Wow - Steven Seagall AND the Van Impes! This blog is gonna BLOW UP!!!

 
At 11:39 AM, Blogger Moroni said...

"China, Russia, march on Jerusalem in 2002."
-JVI, Spring 2001

 

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