Road to the Bottom: Installment One

Every champion has to begin somewhere. Fortunately, my brilliant ability to compose bad fiction began at conception, some 22 years ago, give or take. When I'm hoisting the Bad Fiction trophy (or plaque or maybe printed email) about this time next year, you'll be able to fondly look back at these yet to be released nuggets and say to yourselves, "How truly fortunate we are to even know who Slurry Beta is. He's moved onto greener pastures now, but it feels satisfying to know that he once spoke to us."

No, that wasn't the first entry; it needs to be one sentence. Here it is:

To be a fire fighter is to be adored and this was never more apparent to Anthony Gardner as he suited up for yet another shift at the coal mine; he thought about fire frequently and how many flammable objects there were in the world that need only a simple spark to ignite and require fighting, which he had neither the training nor the opposable thumb on his left hand to do.

Now be honest, people. Is this bad enough? My standards are, uh, low I guess.

I'll release the next one in due time.

**Late update: after consulting with James, I made a small yet significant change. The sentence is now exponentially better. I mean worse.