This just keeps getting better

This will be the second and last post about Congressman Mark Foley (R-Fla.) because I don’t want my readers to get the idea that I actually care about current events. And the whole situation deeply disturbs me. However, I felt like there were some loose ends and some interesting developments that need to be addressed.

It’s truly amazing how the Republicans are handling this whole situation. It’s so incredibly Christian right wing that there must be some sort of handbook for this shit. First, they tried to keep it a secret, apparently knowing about Foley’s propensity for pedophilia since last year. Denial, as we all know, is the single most powerful tool in Christian fundamentalism (see dinosaurs, evolution, space exploration, sexuality, science in general, etc.). Second, and the absolute best part about this is that after he gets busted for doing everything short of committing a felony sex crime, he goes into rehab for alcoholism. That kills me. Way to address one major problem by seeking an acceptable solution for another, completely unrelated, more socially acceptable problem.

Also, I love how nothing in Washington is truly scandalous until the word “gate” is thrown onto the end of it. It’s not just “the time Republican Congressman Foley seduced a 16-year-old boy on the internet”, it’s FOLEYGATE. A few years ago it was Monicagate then Nipplegate (Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl), Macacagate (George Allen’s exposed racism) and surely we can’t forget Slurry Betagate a few years back (it was a localized scandal, which I denied and blamed on Razzleberry Pucker) among the countless others. Of course, all of these “gates” are obvious references to the mother of all political scandals: Teapot Domegate. I know my history, people.