Slurry Beta

Infrequent ruminations on nothing.

Friday, June 23, 2006


I know very little about Soccer (Football, Footie?). In rural Montana, it was dismissed as a “rich kids' sport" because none of us could afford those fancy shin pads. Actually, to be honest, we just didn’t have enough kids to play it but if we did, we would’ve played without pads like we played football. Once I went to college, I learned to enjoy the game, especially since some of my best friends played for Division III powerhouse the Fightin’ Scots. I still don’t know completely understand it, but I definitely get excited for World Cup, which, to me, is an incredibly entertaining and intriguing sporting event. Unfortunately, a majority of Americans could care less. Many become irritated with the inordinate amount of flopping, the lack of scoring, etc., which is a shame when you consider how important it is to the rest of the world. In fact, I believe El Salvador fought a 100-hour war with Honduras over a soccer match.

Personally, I don’t mind all the flopping. If you work that hard for 90-plus minutes to (maybe) score a single goal, an official’s call your way could mean victory. The thing that annoys me is how frequently the medical teams bring out the stretcher for leg injuries. Can’t they just be helped off the field? Honestly, I haven’t seen that many stretchers since the World Yoga Championships! (Zing!)

Well, it looks like Miami finally ran down their dreams. After winning the first two games, Dallas backed down despite indicating that they wouldn’t even if you stood them up at the gates of hell. By the way, nothing resonates better with NBA fans than the music of Tom Petty. (sarcasm) I couldn’t be happier because I hate Alonzo Mourning so any glimmer of hope that he’ll finally retire is a wonderful notion to me. Me and the 50 people on the kidney transplant list who were skipped over so he could get his new kidney, return to basketball, point his finger in the air 60 times a game and incessantly taunt better players. Was it Richard Jefferson or Kenyon Martin who made him cry in practice a few years back?

As a Timberwolves fan, the end of the playoffs signals the beginning of the most wondrous time of year—the Offseason, where we all just sit back in giddy anticipation as Kevin McFail works his magic. (extreme sarcasm). I would write more but my salty tears are ruining my keyboard.

Roger Clemens’ return from his soul searching hiatus (steroid detox) was on ESPN last night which meant I finally got to see Francisco Liriano pitch. He’s amazing. ESPN ran a graphic describing the deal that landed Liriano: AJ Pierzynski (The Jerk) and cash for Liriano, Boof Bonser, and Joe Nathan. Can the T-Wolves borrow the Twins’ front office for the next few months?


At 3:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Petty is playing with pearl jam @ the Excel next month, as i'm sure you know. Does this make your 2 worlds of music love and hatred collide?

I agree with your assesment of Mr. Liriano, or Franky, as I like to call him. Speaking of sports, you should charge $29.95 for pap-per-view rights for the WWE tage team match thats about to errupt at your place this weekend.

At 4:16 PM, Blogger Slurry B said...

Anonymous: Just leave your name at the end, will you? I need to know who my audience is so I can specifically tailor my responses.

No, there's no collision of love and hate. I don't really mind Tom Petty. I do, however, mind hearing the same 5 second portion of "Running Down A Dream" after every commercial break.

I think ABC entirely misses their audience with crap like that. Look at Fox Sports, for example. When they show NFL games they know exactly what kind of intros to run that perfectly suit the audience: Robots playing football.

At 4:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good. I'm glad you don't mind TP, cuz "full moon fever" was one of the best albums of the 80ies, or 90ies or whenever the fuck it was put out.

sincerely - Anonymous


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