It's Go Time
Readers, I promise to write about something more than my mustache soon (like a minor but comical incident involving a cat, a rat, and my house last night) but this is important.
There are certain moments in our lives that define us as human beings; moments that we pinpoint as both the beginning and end to major chapters in our human trajectories. I have three of these, and only three: wrestling my first grizzly bear at age five, swimming from the headwaters of the Missouri River to New Orleans at age 12, and seeing my first television at age 18. Now I feel like I'm on the verge of another monumental life event. I haven't been able to sleep for days. I crave only raw meat, sauteed asparagus (with a hint of garlic and lemon juice), and Skoal. I find myself cutting all of my jeans into shorts. I can only drink Busch Lite beer and do so in large quantities. And strangest of all, my 'stache has been emitting a pale red-then-white-then-blue glow when I come within earshot of country music.
There are certain moments in our lives that define us as human beings; moments that we pinpoint as both the beginning and end to major chapters in our human trajectories. I have three of these, and only three: wrestling my first grizzly bear at age five, swimming from the headwaters of the Missouri River to New Orleans at age 12, and seeing my first television at age 18. Now I feel like I'm on the verge of another monumental life event. I haven't been able to sleep for days. I crave only raw meat, sauteed asparagus (with a hint of garlic and lemon juice), and Skoal. I find myself cutting all of my jeans into shorts. I can only drink Busch Lite beer and do so in large quantities. And strangest of all, my 'stache has been emitting a pale red-then-white-then-blue glow when I come within earshot of country music.
That's right, you guessed it. I'm taking my mustachioed mug to a major NASCAR event in Richmond, Virginia this Saturday. This will stand as a true test of all that I've been working for the past month. True NASCAR fans are sharp and can spot a phony a mile away so it is absolutely imperative that I am properly prepared and maintain a cool head, which may be impossible to do on the Booze Bus we're taking down to Richmond. Let's just hope the hair on my upper lip can hide the fear behind my eyes.
posted by Slurry B @ 11:50 AM
3 Comments:
Godspeed soldier, godspeed.
I think you should consider renaming your blog to My Mustachioed Mug. You could talk exclusively about what it's like to live with a mustache. I'd read it, I'll tell you that much.
I think you should consider renaming your blog to My Mustachioed Mug. You could talk exclusively about what it's like to live with a mustache. I'd read it, I'll tell you that much.
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